coffee coffee coffee
“I really wish I weren’t living through a major historical event right now!”
I wake up in the morning and the first thing I do is make a coffee. A few hours later, I’ll make another one, and then another one, again, again. Each time I hope the caffeine will supplement my motivation instead of just my heartrate. I stare at my upgraded workspace with all of its surface area waiting to be used but I can’t bring myself to go over there. I move my gaze to my phone, full of unread (and unanswered) messages that I haven’t gotten to yet. My mother’s text, “Hi there”, which has been sitting in my phone for roughly five days still goes unopened. Instead of completing that minute task, I go Instagram, looking for a distraction from the unease, some mental stimulation to get through until my next planned cup of coffee. I wonder if it’s becoming an addiction as I’m trying to sleep and for the 13th night in a row, I can’t. I tell myself at best it’s a small dependency.